With all the blog posts floating around about "What Not to Say to XYZ" (insert your own label here...Couples without Children, Homeschooling Parents, Parents of Large Families, Parents of an Only Child, Public School Parents, Parents in Military Families, Parents of Multiples, Cloth Diapering Parents, so many others that don't even involve parenting, and so on and so forth), two things have become abundantly clear to me.
First, I do not know your struggle and you do not know mine. Yet I still belive that your comments or questions are not intended to harm or insult me. I believe this because I believe that the majority of people are not cruel by nature, nor are they intentionally seeking me out to do me harm. Social, yes...which is why they are even attempting to have a conversation with you in the first place. Let me say that first part again...I do not know your struggle(s). I am not trying to piss you off by engaging you in conversation anymore than you are intending to pissed me off with your idle inquiries and chitchat.
Second, people are all too sensitive yet simultaneously displaying an extreme lack of empathy and/or sympathy. Not everything is about you, your family, and your struggle. I know it is monumental to you, just as mine is monumental to me...but neither of us is the center of the universe . And while we're on that topic, your kids aren't the center of the universe either. Feel free to teach them that...they are our future, let's not raise them to be self involved and entitled.
So next time someone asks when "the next baby is coming" or "how long before you put the kids back in regular school", instead of being hurt and offended, SHARE your struggle.
Instead of assuming they are out to hurt you, respond with "Well, family planning can be a challenge but we are certainly happy to have our sweet lil' man." Instead of being defensive about your schooling choice say "This is a great system for us and the kids are really flourishing, so we'll take it a year at a time and see how it develops."
In the end we can't blame someone else for being cruel and insensitive when we are just as much to blame for being defensive and hyper sensitive.
