It's Been a Long While...

Well, it’s been a long while. And I have missed you all. 

Like most families, the end of the school year was fantastically busy for us.  Not in a bad way…it helped the days seem to fly by.  Our sweet little girl has finished Kindergarten…I didn’t cry when she started pre-k or when she finished…I didn’t cry on the first day of Kindergarten nor at their Kindergarten Celebration…no tears at her first ‘Field Day’ or the morning of her last day of school…but when she stepped out of the Kindergarten doors and announced that she was a 1^st Grader on the last afternoon of Kindergarten, I got a little misty. It is so cliché to say that time just slips away…but it truly does. Oh, it doesn’t seem like it ‘in the moment’…but the next thing you know, she’s starting 1^st Grade instead of sleeping in your lap after an early-morning bottle.

And then there’s our lil’ man. LOL. I shouldn’t say it like that. He has grown up a lot in the past few months as well. Though you wouldn’t know that when he curls up in my lap to suck his thumb and go to sleep at night.  Yeah, I should be breaking the thumb habit. And I have no ‘reasons’ not to…just excuses…his teeth/bite aren’t suffering and it’s just for a few minutes while he is falling asleep, then his thumb ‘falls out’ of his mouth and he never goes back to it during the night. Of course, then there are the nights that he falls asleep talking…full-on talking, mid-sentence! On those nights, who even cares about the thumb issue?! 

We've been to the Zoo, played in the sprinkler, eaten lunch on the porch and supper on the swings. Both of the kids performed fantastically at their Gymnastics Open House and had a blast on a field trip to Gifford Farm.  We've watched movies during the bad weather and sat on the porch during the pouring rain.  We've laughed and cried together and talked to Daddy on Skype at every opportunity. 

As for me, I've started a new business and made so many new friends with it. I've really excelled and even earned quite a few bonuses and incentives. Besides how much I love what I'm doing, I love that it doesn't require me to give up any time with my Bugs...these kids are my world and with this business I can create my own schedule, still be there for them constantly and still have a little some thing that's 'mine'. 

I felt bad yesterday when a very good friend of mine asked me how I was doing during this deployment. I told her that it was a ‘tough one’ and then realized later that that seems to have become my new standard answer. And that’s not fair. They are all tough…that part’s for sure. But it isn’t tough the whole time. There are good times. But it seems that in my “Old Age”, I am getting less and less tolerant of things. And it’s not even me or the kids that I’m sad for, it’s J.  The kids, truly, don’t know any different. This is how their life has always been and they don’t know any other way. They know that our neighbors and friends love them like they are family and that there is always someone (usually a group of our closest ‘military family members’ in the crowd to cheer them on, no matter what). They know that they are loved and they never question any of that. Oh, they miss their Daddy terribly…some days worse than others.  But for them it is almost as exciting to tell him all about it on the phone or on Skype. That’s when I get sad…that he has to live life with us online or on the phone. There are so many horrible, dreadful, uncaring fathers out there that see their kids every day (or CHOOSE to NOT see their kids) and here’s the best, most loving and involved father and he has to experience half of his children’s lives through the computer. Awkward and ironic twist, huh?

Today is bad (so was yesterday). I’m lonely. I miss my best friend, partner and father of my sweet angels…I miss my husband…I miss having my family all in one place. But tomorrow will be better.  Tomorrow the sun will shine (God, I pray that it does…we just cannot do this gloomy, rainy weather any longer) and we will celebrate with friends and for a few moments I will forget that when my house empties, it’ll be just me and the kids again. But then the weekend will be here…C will start T-Ball and we will cheer him on…K will start “Surfin’ Through Summer” at her school as well as T-Ball and before you know it, this trip will be almost over. And then I’ll have to share the remote, argue over the thermostat (my poor, thin-blooded husband will complain that it’s too cold in the house) and remember that I’m not the boss anymore (well, that one is a stretch…but transitioning back to dual-parenting is always a bit of a struggle).  So, I apologize, Dear Friend...it isn't always tough. Just most of the time. LOL. Thankfully, she lives the same life, so I am sure she knew what I meant regardless of what I said. 

I hope the end of the school year has brought fun, laughter and excitement to your life as it has ours...

~Jac

And I Will...Do It Anyway...

Do It Anyway

This version found written on the wall in Mother Teresa's home for children in Calcutta:

People are often unreasonable, irrational, and self-centered.  Forgive them anyway.

If you are kind, people may accuse you of selfish, ulterior motives.  Be kind anyway.

If you are successful, you will win some unfaithful friends and some genuine enemies.  Succeed anyway.

If you are honest and sincere people may deceive you.  Be honest and sincere anyway.

What you spend years creating, others could destroy overnight.  Create anyway.

If you find serenity and happiness, some may be jealous.  Be happy anyway.

The good you do today, will often be forgotten.  Do good anyway.

Give the best you have, and it will never be enough.  Give your best anyway.

In the final analysis, it is between you and God.  It was never between you and them anyway.

-this version is credited to Mother Teresa

And I will Do It Anyway...in the face of adversary and cynics, I will hold my head high and forgive, be kind, succeed, be honest, create, be happy, do good, give my best and meet God with a lifetime of joy, sorrow, love and accomplishments in my heart. 

Today...

Helping.

Last minute snuggles.

Breakfast at the airport.

Today I am lonely…gloomy…sad. It isn’t a bad day or even a day unlike many others.  We said ‘see ya later’ to Daddy yesterday (never goodbye…always see ya later) and it always makes for a few days that are just a little too quiet.  We’ve done it so many times over the past 7 years that you’d think I’d have gotten used to it by now. But I haven’t. It still breaks my heart. Every. Single. Time.  He is my best friend, the father of our children and my partner in this crazy, wonderful, agonizing roller coaster of life.  I miss him. No matter if it is an overnight trip to evac jets for bad weather, a 2 month trip that turns into 6 months (done that) or a 365 (not done that yet, but it isn’t far off and we know that), I still miss him and our kids miss him.  And if I have to hear, one more time, “Well, that isn’t too long, it’s not too bad” I may well lose my composure and smack someone. Well, probably not literally since single-parenting from jail is probably even harder than ‘traditional’ single parenting. LOL. But I can guarantee that my filter will fail and I will say something snarky.  Yes, his trips are short by most people’s standards (and by the stereotypical ‘military deployments’ that most folks are accustomed to hearing about). But he is still gone.  And all that it means is that his time home is shorter as well.  On average, we can count on 6 weeks home for every 8 weeks gone. Yeah. I still don’t love those numbers.  We’re still talking between 120 and 180 days away from home each year. Yet instead of doing it all at once, we say ‘see ya later’ 2-3 times each year. That is the hardest part. 

Yep, that's even his plane that they are watching. :(

Brings tears to my eyes.

The thing is, I don’t spend most of my time being lonely…gloomy…sad for myself. I am sad for him and the kids…for all the things that he misses and that just aren’t the same a few hours later over Skype. The things the he isn’t actually HERE for…field trips, Kindergarten Celebration, Gymnastics Open Houses and T-Ball (just to name a few things that he’ll miss on this trip alone).  Of course I am lonely for myself…but only on big days…my birthday (early May), Mother’s Day (mid-May) and our Anniversary (late May)…(again, just to name a few things that he’ll miss on this trip).  He’s missed that trio of events for 5 out of the past 7 years and those are the days that are the loneliest for me…those are family days and it breaks my  heart that I don’t get to have my best friend with me to celebrate.  On the positive side, he’s been on a pretty predictable schedule as far as what time of the year he’s gone each year. This has meant that he is home for K’s and C’s birthdays consistently and that is FAR more important to me than my own self-pitty over the things he misses in the month of May.

Daddy always leaves a surprise!

But today, none of that matters. None of the ‘bright side’ things are making me feel any better.  Today I’m just sad that he’s not here. Lonely as I sit in too-quiet house.  And gloomy because not even the weather will cooperate and provide even just a small sliver of sunshine. I’m frustrated because our opportunity to talk to him today is smack in the middle of something else and at just over 24hrs gone, I am already done with the juggling of plans, events and fitting in calls to him on his wonky schedule. Which then makes me even more frustrated with my cell phone battery that seems to always be nearly dead right when I really need it.

So, regardless of all the things that I could be counting as blessings, I am stuck in my early-deployment rut of gloom and self-pity. It won’t last long, I know. It really is just a phase. I just wish that after all these years, I’d have figured out a way to skip this part!

 ~Jac

Our Girl is all Grown Up...

Before we discuss how ‘Our Girl is all Grown Up’ I think I should start at the beginning of our discovery…

Let’s start with a few things that you may not know about me…

1)      I do not get sick. I have severe allergies and they create a lot of suffering during, well, all four seasons…but I don’t get sick. The kind of sick that sends you to the doctor and lands you on antibiotics (and flat on your ass) is just not in my handbook. I don’t have time for it and lucky for me, it avoids me.

2)      I do not sit still. People laugh because I can quote things that I hear on Food Network or HGTV during the day, but the common misconception is that I sit there watching it. Could not be farther from the truth. I am busy all day doing things with my children (teaching, playing, going on outings, etc), completing or starting projects of my own (paper crafts, sewing, etc), working on my business, writing (my blog, which I know I have neglected for quite some time) or just doing the ever-present household chores.

3)      I do not spend all day on the computer.  Though, judging by my Facebook, it seems that I spend a fair amount of my day on the computer, I definitely do not. I surf the internet during ‘waiting times’ and elect to have it NOT show that I am ‘mobile’ most of the time…you know, waiting in the car for school pick-up, waiting while K does gymnastics, waiting in line while running errands, etc…

This week was an exception for every single one of those little details. It started Monday. I was sick. So sick, in fact, that I ended up in the ER with the doctor contemplating emergency surgery. Ugh.  To make a long ER visit (and even longer story) short, I ended up not needing emergency surgery…whew…but I did end up with an IV filled with max doses of some heavy duty meds…and even more meds to take at home. Bleh. But the good news was that as long as I took the meds, I’d be good as new in a couple of days (“BUT BE SURE TO FINISH THE COURSE OF MEDICINE EVEN ONCE YOU START TO FEEL BETTER”…yes, sir, doctor-man!).

To top it off, my hubby was sick. Now, I get medication-needing sick once every two years or so….he’s not quite that good, but we’re still talking once a year at most. We are just not a sickly family…the kids get sick even less often! Which makes me want to debunk ‘Breast milk makes your kid less sickly’ but that is an entirely different post and I am still thinking I’ll avoid the controversy and obnoxious comments on our choice to use the dreaded ‘f’ word (formula). LOL.  I digress…so, J is sick…throwing up in the bathroom, can’t move, room spinning, debilitating nausea. He was so pale and white that his skin was almost transparent…yet at the same time, he looked a little green. Would have been perfect if it had been makeup for a Halloween costume, but it wasn’t.

I was in so much pain and so sick that my doc sent me to Urgent Care…who then sent me to the ER.  Not having family nearby at times like these is one of the biggest drawbacks of our lifestyle.  If my parents were here, it would have been one phone call and no worries. Grammy would have come to the house; packed a few necessities for each kid and just taken them home with her…she’d handle supper, bed time, school the next morning and whatever else we needed. But, that’s not the case.  So now we’re stuck. J doesn’t want me at the ER by myself. I don’t want him there (who knows what he has, he doesn’t need to be spreading it around to everyone else in the hospital) and I don’t want someone else there with me (I already know I get major emotional with pain meds and sedatives, so if I’m going to be weepy and annoying, I want to do it with J or my parents. End of story).  Finally we decide that he will stay home with the kids and I will go to the ER (thank goodness we have one really close now…not sure I could have driven much farther).

So, this is where the ‘Our Girl is all Grown Up’ part comes in. 

K is pretty self-sufficient and we already knew that.  But she was amazing.  All day (before I went to the ER) she helped me with anything that she could. And if she couldn’t easily do it, she figured it out and still managed to get it done anyway.  She was an angel (and I was soooooo glad it was a day off of school since J was at work all day).  She made sure she and her brother ate when they were hungry (of course, left at their own devices, they were choosing granola bars and yogurt all day…but it could have been worse and they thought it was the best thing ever…granola bar addicts) and had plenty of water to drink…she cleaned up everything that they got out…read books to her brother and even ‘put him down for his nap’ (walked upstairs with him, tucked him in and shut his door).   

But once I left to go to the hospital, she kicked it into high gear. J stayed home with our munchkins but he was nearly useless as he was so sick.  She did everything.  She did all the things that she’d been doing all day for her brother…and she took care of her Daddy, too.  She made sure everyone had water to drink, made supper for herself and her brother (surprisingly not granola bars…pepperoni, crackers, cheese and yogurt…not a great supper, but better than yet another Cliff bar).  She even helped C when he was struggling to get his pants pulled back up after going potty.  She was truly a ‘Little Mamma’ and a lifesaver to her Daddy and I, though I am sure she won’t understand why until she is our age, has kids and is sick beyond belief.  

I was finally done at the ER…though J had to come get me since I could not drive (because of the IV cocktail)...again, having family nearby would have been so helpful…Grampy would have probably already met me at the hospital and if not, certainly would have come to get me. So, anyway, way past bed time K loaded herself and C into Daddy’s truck…clipped C into his seat and they came to pick me up and stop at a pharmacy to get my medications filled.  It was almost too much for J to be driving and so sick but we managed. Slowest car on the road, I think. LOL.

Tuesday was a better day. She went to school like normal. I woke up groggy, disoriented and basically hung over and J still felt queasy but not unstable. She got herself ready for school, only asking for help for her hair, and suggested that she buy hot lunch (she RARELY wants to purchase lunch…she STRONGLY prefers to bring cold lunch from home) so that Daddy didn’t have to worry with making a lunch for her.  J stayed home…partly because he still felt ill and partly because I was still so disoriented and groggy.  I spent the day on the couch, in the bed or in the recliner next to my bed...on the computer or on my phone (texting, Facebooking and otherwise doing things in which it didn't matter if I dozed off mid-conversation). By the afternoon I felt well enough to go get my car from the hospital after we got K from school and J went to get pizza for supper so that the kids could have something more substantial than granola bars, pepperoni and yogurt! Thankfully yesterday’s weather was also beautiful, so the kids spent the entire afternoon outside…thus not suffering from highly uninvolved parents any longer. By bed time J and I were exhausted but feeling overall better…as long as we didn't do too much.

I’m not going to lie; I've felt like the worst parent most of the time over the past two days. I feel much better today…not quite 100%...I still get quite exhausted pretty quickly if I try to do too much, though.  However, K really proved herself. In by association, she has proved that J and I are on the right track for parenting.  She took on responsibilities far past her age and managed them with fantastic success and even a little flair.  I am so incredibly proud of her and thankful for her selfless help…but it is bittersweet, nonetheless. I sure love that girl…

~Jac

P.S. Don't worry...she's being rewarded for her selfless, caring actions. She has asked to go out to supper and we have happily agreed!

Friendships Enrich our Lives...

Today, like many days, I find myself thankful for my friends…the ‘lifers’ as I call them.  We laugh together, cry together, suffer and celebrate together and in many ways we are closer than most siblings. 

You see, most of us met each other out of circumstance (‘situational’ friends as I like to say) but as time passed, memories were made, bonds were forged, experiences were shared and lifetime relationships were formed.  I love these people…with all of my heart.  When I say we share each other’s joy and pain, it isn’t just something you say…it is real.  As my hubby packs for a deployment, I weep for his departure (yep, I’m crier if you didn’t already know that)…yet at the same time I shed tears of joy because his leaving signals a friend’s husband’s homecoming and I am truly excited for their family.  While the children and I will miss J terribly and long for a simple hug, our friend and her children will finally get the hug that they’ve been craving for so long. I feel it all…all at the same time.

The best part is that not only do they realize that I am not perfect, they realize that they are not perfect, either…and yet we all love and fully support each other regardless.  We don’t pass judgment on each other and our relationships are free of expectations or entitlement.  We do what we can for each other when we can and when, for whatever reason, it isn’t feasible to be the one ‘doing’, nobody gets angry, hurt or offended over not being adequately taken care of or something equally as silly…they simply handle it themselves…whatever ‘it’ may be. We all understand that *life* happens so when we go extended periods without seeing each other or having time to catch-up, it’s okay…we just pick up where we left off when things settle down a bit. Why does this work? Well, for starters, we are all fiercely independent and I think that is a huge factor…add a deployment into the mix and our independence kicks into high gear.  As a collective, we nearly refuse to ask for help…even from each other. When I step back and view our behavior from afar, it is actually quite comical. Not rain, nor snow, nor pregnancy, surgery, small children or heat of summer will render us unable to do anything…it’s both endearing and frustrating. But in the end, we are not all here to just take care of each other, but to support each other and to understand that what you see on the surface is not necessarily the whole story…my friends are here for my whole story and I am here for theirs.

Thank you…each and every one of you…for filling my life with an overwhelming abundance of love, compassion and understanding and for allowing me to be a part of your lives…I cherish each of you every day!! 

~Jac

Thursday Coffee Group...

Coffee, sinfully rich and delicious cinnamon rolls and sweet friends. What better way is there to spend the morning?  Oh, and the 'speed cleaning' just before guests arrive has turned my house from 'lived-in' (bordering on messy) to 'neat and tidy'...gotta love that last-minute cleaning rush! <3

Random Thoughts for Wednesday...

Just some random thoughts for today…

v  Why does the jury get to ask questions in the Arias trial? Is that normal? I’m a CJ major and I don’t recall anything about the jury getting to ask questions. I would think that would considerably extend the life of a trial.

v  My Lil’ Man did not sleep well last night. He cried and fussed with bad dreams every 40 minutes or so.  Luckily they did not wake him up…but I am exhausted from constantly checking on him. Bleh. When I asked him this morning if he had any bad dreams, he said ‘no’…so I guess he doesn’t remember them.  He does keep yawning, though…so I am thinking he didn’t rest well regardless of whether he woke up or not.

v  My hubby found out yesterday that some VIP tickets that he won in a Silent Auction are good for multiple events…(i.e. they are season passes for him to go to as many events as he would like)…also, children under 12 are FREE, so we can go as a family for no additional cost.

v  Caffeine is naturally occurring in coffee beans…which brings me to the fact that coffee IS beans…so truly my morning cup (or two or three…LOL) is just a natural, energy-boosting vegetable. HeHeHe…

v  Sleepy Lil’ Man is LOVING The History Channel today. Why don’t we watch it more often?

v  Our Lil’ Lady has a pesky cough that comes and goes. It reared its ugly head again yesterday.  Last time this happened, they sent her home from school even though she had no other symptoms and made me take her to the doctor.  Makes me thankful that we have the insurance that we do…since that was the 3^rd time that they’d sent her home, requiring a doctor’s note to come back to school and NOTHING has been wrong with her. I hate that she’s had to miss school for nothing but I understand the school’s need to be cautious. Anyway, I gave her allergy meds and cough meds before school today and put a note in her backpack for her teacher advising her that we’d kept a check on her temp overnight and warning her that the allergy meds make her sleepy (just one of several reasons why we, and our doctor, prefer to use it as-needed instead of daily).

v  I am so happy to see the sunshine today. It was gloomy and overcast all day yesterday and it really, REALLY affects my mood and Lil’ Man’s mood. We may be operating in a sleepy fog today, but the sun is really helping our disposition while we muddle through the day.

v  Easter is awfully close and I haven’t even started the Easter quilt that I intended to make for use in our living room. Hmm…I think I smell a weekend project.

v  Our dog is a snot.  She avoids me all day…even when I do actually sit down and offer her the option to snuggle in my lap with a blanket…then when my hubby gets home from work, she freaks out with excitement and acts like she’s been ignored all day. Ungrateful pooch.

v  I like blogging because nobody cares about my creative punctuation. And if you do, you just don’t need to read it.

v  My Florida skin (i.e. accustomed to 100% or more humidity) gets so dry up here (Nebraska)…I sometimes wish it were feasible to fill our bathtub with lotion and just dip myself in it. LOL.

v  I fully believe in the statement: ‘Piss poor planning on your part does not constitute an emergency on my part.’ However, that seems to be how things operate more often than not.

v  I love that our son likes to learn how to reassemble the things that he disassembles. I am sure that will come in handy when he starts disassembling more than his cars and toys.

~Jac

I Worry...

I worry.  It isn’t Godly of me but I do it anyway…but then again, I’m not God, I’m human.  I’m meant to be imperfect and, well, I’m perfect at that!  They always warn you that as a mother, you’ll worry about everything. They weren’t kidding. EVERY. THING.

I worry about…

…if I got the laundry done that the family needs this week.

…if my house is clean enough to not be embarrassing for Coffee Group.

…if I’ve forgotten something for lack of writing it in a calendar or adding it to my Google calendar (love that thing…it reminds me of so much.)

…bills, accounts, and how that grocery list just keeps growing this week.

…if my kids are eating a healthy enough diet.

…if my daughter will EVER learn to keep her mouth shut in school. (Okay, I know the answer to that one and it isn’t good…but I really WANT her to be a step above her mother!)

…investments, college funds and retirement.

…if the timing will ever be right for us to move out of base housing. (Don’t get me wrong, there are plenty of advantages, but I want my OWN house…with some actual storage space.)

…deployments. That’s right, I worry about them long before they ever get here…then stress during them…only to worry more when he does get home. I don’t know when or if I will ever learn to relax and just enjoy the time that he IS home. Probably when he retires…and is annoying me because he is home all the time. LOL.

…military jobs. It used to be that the military was the most stable job with the most unstable lifestyle.  Well, we’ve lived in the same place for well over the standard threshold…our deployment cycle has been painfully predictable…and yet with the force reductions, jobs are a question mark and our government has found a way to put all of our service members’ pay in jeopardy. Nice. Add that to the list of worries.

…my kids. Constantly. If we are raising them well, if they will turn out to be strong, independent, compassionate and honest.

...and so many other things.  This is just what popped in my head when I sat down…perhaps I will update and add to this as more things worry me...

~Jac

Back to Normal...

Finally a normally scheduled day...School/Work for K/Hubby respectively...coffee and laundry for me...quiet morning playtime for C.  But, Monday is still Monday...and this is our first day with an alarm in 4 days...gonna need some more of that coffee...

SNOW DAY...Take 2...

 We’ve had two snow days here. Thursday and Friday. Thursday felt so backwards…there was not a stitch of snow on the ground when we got up…yet school had already been canceled at 8:30pm on Wednesday night. It was so strange for K to not go to school when it appeared that nothing was actually going on out there.  The snow finally started around 11:30 and quickly became thick and heavy enough that it was obvious why the districts had made the decision to cancel. For hours (almost 24 of them, in fact) the snow fell and accumulated and blew all over the place.  By 9:00pm Thursday night, the schools decided that the road conditions and continuing snowfall were going to make getting to school more dangerous than necessary and so they cancelled school for Friday as well.  Friday morning, it was more obvious why we were all still at home…roads were still covered in up to 6 inches of snow (especially in the neighborhoods where the plows hadn’t gotten any clearing done) and flurries were still falling.  As the day went by, the snow stopped and the sun has come out…making it possible for driveways to be cleared and ice to be melted.  And now the sun glints off of pile after pile after pile of snow burning our retinas. LOL.

There have been three major downsides to these two ‘Snow Days’.  First, my hubby and I have both been sick for about the past week and a half. Thankfully, we seem to be alternating days…he’ll feel a bit better on the very day that I feel my worst and I will feel a bit better on the day that he is for sure on his death bed.  But for our children, it has been Hell.  You see, they’ve been perfectly healthy (thank God)…not a sniffle between them. But they are not accustomed to J and I being puny and less than 100% involved parents.  So in the past week, we’ve left the house twice for events not related to K’s school or J’s work. That has left them with a bout of cabin fever that is about to drive me nuts.  Second, K’s school just had a long weekend (5 days, actually) and have another long weekend scheduled over Easter (no ‘Spring Break’ up here…instead of a whole week off of school, they get two extended weekends instead).  Anyway, with so much time off of school K is bored and has really…REALLY…taken to bossing C around. Apparently it annoys me more than C since he just does whatever she says but it is driving me bonkers.  Finally, when the schools start closing, so do businesses, so anything that we might have had the energy to go do is a moot point since the place is probably closed anyway. UGH.

However, by Friday afternoon J and I were at least feeling well enough to fake it.  We bundled everyone up, invited over a friend that was going through the same thing (she’d been sick…kids were fine…hubby on a trip), ordered pizza and had a very casual afternoon of sledding on the hill across the street from our house, eating pizza, watching movies and drinking hot chocolate.  It was so good for the kids…and the adults.  All of us needed some interaction other than our own families and I think everyone really benefited from some activity and company. I love friends like that…where it doesn’t have to be fancy and we can just throw together a simple afternoon/evening and everyone has a great time.

Moms Shouldn't Get Sick...

I am sick and tired of being sick and tired. LOL. And it just started Saturday night. Bleh! Fever, body aches, the whole nine yards. I've been taking OTC meds and trying to rest but that just doesn't come easily to a full-time mom. I love my Bugs and caring for them is my ‘job’…though I consider it more of a luxury than work. The worst part is that I’ll feel ‘fine’ while I am sitting calmly on the couch or in bed…so then I get to thinking about all things that I could be doing and all the ways that I could be productive…so I get up and start doing stuff and promptly start feeling like crud again. Ugh! It is a vicious circle.  I am blessed to have my hubby home this weekend, though.  He has really picked up the slack for me…doing laundry, cooking, doing dishes and other miscellaneous cleaning/chores as well as taking care of and entertaining our sweet children.

Double Blogging...

Well, I have been testing out blogging...as you can see.  I have also been testing out two different blogging sites...Blogspot (eblogger) and Wordpres...currently I have been sharing identical posts on both blogs while I try to decide which one I like best.

This is what I have learned about blogging: 1) I enjoy blogging even though I'm not terribly consistent about it. 2) Most of my posts are very casual and are about family.  3) I do not consider myself a serious writer...more of a recreational one. 4) Keeping two blogs running is redundant, so I need to pick one.

This is what I have learned about the blogging sites: 1) Blogspot connects to my Google account and with Google+ it is very easy to share photos to my blog...which I do a lot. 2) My Wordpress blog has more followers that are unknown to me (i.e. strangers). 3) Blogspot feels more user friendly for the things that I post and I have more friends/family followers on that site. 4) Wordpress seems better suited for serious, professional writers and I am neither.

All that being said, if you would like to continue following my blogging adventure, I encourage you to follow me at 'That's Just Part of my Life' on Blogspot (eblogger)...well, here. :)  I may occasionally update my Wordpress blog...or at least post links in it to my Blogspot posts. But it is too time consuming to update both of them simultaneously. And, I'd like to give a BIG thank you to my friend Misty that even suggested that I try out other blogging options and encouraging me to just let the words come to me instead of trying to force a topic.  You're a real motivator, friend, inspiration and always full of such wise advice! Thank you!!  I appreciate all of your support, likes and comments and I hope you'll continue this journey with me! 

~Jac

Valentine's Day...

I see a lot of negative posting about Valentine’s Day. Well, holidays in general. And I agree, they are WAAAYY over commercialized! I mean, do you really need to have Christmas trees right next to your Independence Day display? Probably not. But whatever, I’m not in retail, so I’ll just decorate my house when I’m good and ready.  Personally, I like holidays. I like decorating for them. I’m not Irish, but I have my St. Paddy’s Day stuff ready to go on display tomorrow! After that it’s Easter, Memorial Day, Independence Day and Labor Day before we dive back into the holiday season (Halloween, Thanksgiving, Christmas and New Year’s). It’s the fun of it. The whimsy of decorating…and for me, it helps break up the monotony of the long, gloomy winter up here. I do agree with a lot of things that I see, though…

I don’t need a special day to know that my children love me. They show me every day with their actions and the hugs and kisses that they share with me.

My children don’t need a special day to know that I love them. I tell them every day…over and over…and I show them with the things that I do and by living my life with their best interests at heart.

I don’t need a special day to know that my husband loves me.  He tells me daily, makes countless sacrifices for me and our children and is the rock in our family.

I don’t need a special day to tell my husband that I love him.  I tell him daily, put him and the children at the center of my world and am there for him no matter what.

Not to mention the fact that I have an anniversary to celebrate the loving relationship that I share with my husband, birthdays to celebrate the amazing children that we have along with Mother’s and Father’s Day to celebrate joining the world of parenthood. 

But I can always enjoy a special day about love just for the sake of it. We spend Valentine’s Day as a family…we all love each other…the holiday is about love.  So, why not? We do special things like make heart shaped foods, dye things pink and/or red and make heart shaped crafts.  We also go out to dinner as a family. We don’t eat out too often and when we do, it is rarely without a specific reason.  So, this is our reason…we love each other, so nobody has too cook or do dishes, we go out instead and enjoy a yummy meal together.  This year instead of making heart pancakes or cinnamon rolls with pink icing, we decided to surprise the kids with breakfast out.  It was fun on so many different levels. First of all, it is a long weekend (i.e. winter break) for the public school system…the kids have Thursday, Friday, the weekend and Monday off…but my hubby still has to work a regular today and Friday…so he and I got up early and got ready (him for work and me for a day of errands)…then we woke the kids up and got them dressed. We didn’t offer drinks or breakfast, just dressed them and ushered them out the door. It was quite funny. Neither of them are morning people and neither of them were thrilled to be woken early on a ‘no-alarm-day’. LOL.  They were still nearly asleep in the car on the way there and didn’t ‘wake up’ till we got to our destination.  I’d seen an advertisement that our local Chick-fil-A restaurant would be serving heart shaped biscuits for breakfast and we thought that the kids would find it a fun treat. We were not disappointed! The kids loved their breakfast treat…a double treat at that…breakfast out and shaped like hearts!  It was a great way to start our day.  Rounding out our day with a family supper at Red Lobster was the perfect way to spend the day celebrating our family’s love for each other. 

~Jac

Just Me and My Girl...

Yesterday I got to enjoy some time with just my girl. It was so much fun…but a bitter reminder that she hardly resembles the child that she was when we welcomed her brother to the family.  She’s always been fiercely independent and incredibly intelligent. None of that has changed.  But we were a part of everything and every moment in her life…even when she started Pre-K, it took her almost as long to recap every moment of her day (3 hours) as she spent IN school. Now she is in Kindergarten and from 7:55 am – 3:10 pm, we are out of the loop. Don’t get me wrong, we still get a drawn-out recap of the day most afternoons and she spends 3:10 pm till bath time talking non-stop.  But seeing her in her element with her friends is both amazing and disheartening.  

K’s classroom Valentine Party was yesterday afternoon and an amazing and wonderful friend of ours watched our sweet lil’ man so that I could go to the party. It was a fun afternoon with a class of 5 and 6 year old children. They made a craft, had some snacks and exchanged Valentines. It was so cute and so sweet and a nice treat to be able to focus on just her for a little while. She, of course, was thinking of her brother the whole time. She wanted to save her juice box for him and save at least half of her treats for him, too.  Even when it’s ‘her’ time, she is always thinking of him.  She has the biggest, kindest, sweetest heart and she just adores her baby brother. I kept reminding her that this was her party and she did not have to give her treats to him.  As much as they love each other, time apart is both good for them and necessary.  And good for me…I got to just have a Kindergartner for a little over an hour and give her my undivided attention while spending time with her in ‘her world’.   Always time well spent…

~Jac

P.S. When they were given 'prizes' at the party, she asked if she could please take two of the bracelets...one for her and one for her brother...when they said yes (all the prizes needed to be gotten rid of since it was the last party of the year), she picked an orange bracelet for him (his favorite color). Love her...

Zoo Day with my Lil' Man...

I spend a lot of time grooming our children into the people that I want them to be as adults. Strong. Independent. Intelligent. Compassionate. Polite. With that comes a lot of teaching, structure, discipline, rules and (most important) consistency.  In doing that, I have been known to forget that every now and then they need to just let loose. And then I feel bad for the same strict structure that I enforce because I know is so good for them.  One-on-one time with my Bugs is oh-so-important and before C was born, it was so easy. I mean, when you only have one kid, one-on-one time is all the time…everything you do…it is built in by design.  But then you have a second child (or any subsequent sibling…parents with more than one child will immediately relate, but the concept is elementary regardless of how many kids you have currently…or if you even have children). And as amazing as that younger child is…and as amazing as the relationship is between those two children (my Bugs don’t just love each other, they LOVE each other…nearly inseparable and they each think the other one is **perfect**)…they each need, crave and DESERVE one-on-one time with Mamma and/or Daddy. 

Then it becomes a matter of scheduling.  Find a sitter for one kid while the parents do something with the other…or split the kids between the parents (Mamma and Daddy each take a child and do something one-on-on)…or once school starts, do something with the younger sibling while the older one is in school (assuming, of course, that your child goes to school outside of the home).  The one-on-one time is no less important with multiple children…it just requires a bit more creativity in scheduling.

K started Kindergarten in August. Yes, I know that was 6 months ago.  C is not old enough for Pre-K, so we get a whole year of school-days together…just us. And so we’ve had a good amount of one-on-one time.  But it occurred to me last week that we haven’t used it to do anything special. No trips to the Zoo, no Children’s Museum…just normal day-to-day stuff like errands, chores and the occasional extra playground trip, bike ride or long walk. WHAT was I waiting for? It won’t be long before school is out and one-on-one time becomes harder to schedule…then it’ll be August again and he’ll start Pre-K (just two days a week, but still making for a slightly less flexible schedule) as K moves on to 1^st grade. OMG…she’ll be moving to first grade…in just 6 short months…woah. That’s another post entirely.  

So last week, we packed a lunch, gathered snuggly jackets and a blanket (it was a bit chillier than I anticipated) and headed to the Zoo.  And we had a blast.  We got there just after they opened and didn’t have to be concerned with time (I’d already decided that C could skip his nap as long as he was having a good time and behaving well).  We visited gorillas, orangutans, antelope, and giraffes. Then we enjoyed lunch outside the aquarium.  When it got too chilly to continue sitting outside to eat, we finished our lunches inside the aquarium as we watched the penguins jump, swim and waddle.  Then we visited the tropical rain forest and the big cats exhibit.  There were very few things that we didn’t see or do, but we kept a leisurely pace and took our time watching the animals play.  We spent a great deal of time looking at the lion cubs. C was so excited over the ‘baby kitty cats’ that he wants to have his own baby lion. LOL.  I suppose every kid feels that way when they see infants of another species…but it is still so stinkin’ cute to hear it from your own child’s mouth. So innocent in their understanding that in just a few short months, that sweet ‘baby’ would be the largest thing in the house and not suitable for life as a domestic pet.

It was a wonderful day full of things that HE loved…no errands, laundry, dishes or other household chores. Just the things that an almost 3 year old boy enjoys…and he has talked about it non-stop since. Yes, I was ‘behind’ on the laundry and chores that I would like to have done before the weekend. No, I wouldn’t trade those few hours for anything.

~Jac

Happy Saturday...

It occurred to me this morning that our days of lazy Saturday mornings will eventually be coming to an end.  At some point between pregnancy number one and child number one starting Pre-K (and now Kindergarten), our definition of ‘sleeping in’ have already drastically changed. Sleeping in use to refer to sleeping until 9am (or later…we have two great sleepers that routinely slept past the 9 o’clock mark).  But with schedules and alarms, our bodies now naturally wake a mere thirty minutes…on a lucky day, a full hour…past when that dreadful alarm would sound anyway. That is ‘sleeping in’. And that is fine. Turns out we can fit a lot more into one day if we finish breakfast before noon.

Now it is the ‘lazy Saturday’ that we covet. You know, staying in jammies until the second cup of coffee is drained. But when a friend posted something this morning about how rough 8am Saturday commitments are, I realized that we aren’t that far away from that ourselves. 

Both of our kids are already involved in extracurricular activities…one at a time is our rule for now. We see no need to exhaust them by having their time scheduled to the minute 5 or 6 days a week (they are only 5 and 2, respectively). But, still, they have already become involved. For now those things all fall on weekdays…but the time is fast approaching when little league,  pop warner or city league sports will take over and practice will be two evenings per week followed by games on Saturdays. Games that will require us to get dressed first thing on Saturday instead of lounging in jammies for a few hours.  Games that will…dare I say it…force us to set an alarm on Saturday. Oh, it is painful to even think about.  But, I wonder, will there magically be more hours in the day again? ;)

For now, we will enjoy our lazy Saturday mornings…followed, most weekends, by some sort of family outing or errand…

…and with that, we are off to try on shoes and enjoy our day together…

…Happy Saturday…

~Jac

Faith, Effort and Love...Not Numbers...

If you have children, you will understand immediately what I am about to describe.  That comment that changes the way you parent, the way you view parenting and the way you relate parenting to others.  For everyone else, it’s a good story…a true story.

I was told a long time ago that I’m not really parenting until I have more than one kiddo. Really? Then what the hell have I been doing for the past year (half of which I did alone while my hubby was half way around the world)?! I want to make it clear that that comment pissed me off to no end…still does when I think of it. If you have a child, you are parenting. That’s really all there is to it. I believed that then and I believe that now. A part of me, however, wondered if I would feel like or be a different parent should we have an additional child. In the time since the comment was made, it has been explained to me over and over that I may have taken it too personally…which is always possible…I take a lot of things personally and I take EVERYTHING personally when it involves my sweet, angelic, perfect Bugs.

Okay, we all know they aren’t actually perfect. But they are perfect for us…perfect at testing boundaries… perfect at being kids…and that’s a good thing because that’s their job.  But they are my life, my career and the most wonderful thing that I have ever done, bar none.  I put my heart and soul into raising them…everything from hygiene, appearance and punishment to education, social skills and safety (and everything in between) is my responsibility and I approach it with the same vigor as any corporate executive gunning for a promotion or pay raise.   I spend my days shaping personalities, encouraging curiosities, teaching skills and appropriate behaviors and explaining the ways of the world to two of the most inquisitive minds that I have ever met.  I laugh, I cry, I scream and most nights I pass out from the exhaustion of it...and I truly LOVE every second.

So, do I feel like more of a parent now that I have two kids? No. Definitely not. I am more of a multi-tasker, more of a mediator (thankfully not too much since our Bugs get along so well) and more of a scheduler (which is saying a lot since most people already viewed my compulsive planning as a fault).  But, I am not any more or less of a parent. I teach the same things…just twice. I wash the same laundry…just twice.  I wipe the same tears…just twice. I’m not doing more…I’m just doing the same things more often.  And I still truly LOVE every second.

But that comment has forever changed me.  It changed the way I view the person that said it…and certainly not for the better.  Regardless of the intent, or if it was or wasn’t said in jest, it hurt me. And to say something like that to a new, first time mom (K was only about 9 months old at the time) is insensitive to say the least. Not to mention that I was single-parenting at the time and already struggling with worry about if I was doing our sweet girl justice on my own.  In my mind that person views themselves as ‘more’ of a parent and that infuriates me (they currently have more children than my hubby and I and probably always will since we intend to be done producing offspring). 

God made me the parent that I am because I am the parent that the children He blessed us with needs. I’m not more of a parent than anyone else and I am not less of a parent than anyone else. I am the parent necessary for the children given to me. Nothing more. Nothing less.  It has also changed the way I relate parenting to new parents.  I feel it is necessary (and that I am obligated) to remind them that THEY are what their children need…nothing more, nothing less…not what the books say, not what other people say and not what the internet says…YOU are the parents that your child needs and God gave you the instincts to do the job.  Follow your instincts first and when you feel truly muddled, then it is time to ask for help.  It causes me to bite my tongue a lot, too.  I try so hard to stay out of the ‘comparing’ game that is so common now-a-days anyway.  But when someone spends their time broadcasting their woes about their husband being gone for one or two nights or their anger at them being called out during supper, I can’t help but think about the weeks and months that I spend as a single-parent each year.  No, my hubby and I aren’t separated…well, at least not spiritually or legally…just physically. He is on active duty in the Air Force and spends an average of over 120 days away from us each year. Not as bad as some military members, but certainly a lot more than any family would prefer.  And even when he is home, a 40 hour work week is nothing short of a joke. A ‘workday’ is an average of 12 hours…a minimum of 5 days a week….weekends, evenings and overnight commitments are anything but unusual. And there is no such thing as overtime pay.  But, I refuse to make those comments. It isn’t worth comparing and it doesn’t make me more of a parent than someone with a standard M-F/9-5 job. What it does is make me even more thankful for the luxury of being a full-time parent…for the gift of being the one to be there for the ‘first’ everything…to get K from school each afternoon and drop her off each morning…to always be here when there are monsters in C’s room at night…to provide comfort, stability and structure in the midst of the turmoil of military life.  It also makes me more thankful for the friends that we have made though our journey as a military family.  The families that never compare hardships because it is all hard and you can’t measure the loneliness in one’s heart; you simply provide support and encouragement.

I am not more or less of a parent because of the number of children that I am raising. I know that now.  I am more of a parent because of what I choose to do. My choice to be involved in every aspect of their lives and interests, my choice to discipline consistently, my choice to put the time, energy and love into shaping them into strong, educated, independent and productive members of society…those are the things that make me a parent. It’s not about numbers…it’s about faith, effort and love.

~Jac

Whirlwind Weekend...

It was one of ‘those’ weekends. The kind where you are almost constantly on the go and the time just slips away.  It wasn't as if we had any major all-consuming plans. It was just a bunch of little things…all in different directions…that needed to be done.  The kind of weekend that you try, unsuccessfully, to explain to your friends without kids as they wonder what in the world you do all day/weekend that is so exhausting. I saw it coming on Thursday.  C and I still hadn't made it to the grocery store (we normally go, list and coupons in hand, on the day before payday when the store is far less crowded and we have the opportunity to take our time and not forget anything…I detest the grocery store, always have) and there just isn't time on Thursday after Coffee Group so, no grocery store. I knew then that it was going to be ‘that’ kind of weekend…not a bad weekend, just a full one.  Friday would have worked except we’d already made other plans so by the time we could have gone, it would have been too close to K getting out of school (Friday afternoons are always rushed anyway since it is also gymnastics day for K….so we get her from school, get her home to get changed and then are right back out the door). By the time we got home from gymnastics, I had no motivation to cook and there were (of course) no leftovers in the fridge…since J had worked late and we had STILL gotten home before him, he was in no mood to cook either…so back into the car we all went and enjoyed a delicious Mexican meal as a family from one of our favorite local restaurants.  For everything else, that left the weekend…

…still no trip to the grocery store…

My hubby had some errands of his own that he needed to accomplish…some stuff that he needed to get done for/with the garage (he has a project car that requires as much attention as a child), haircuts for him and C and a couple of other things.  I really wanted to get a chance to meet with my Mary Kay consultant…I love their products but sometimes getting together to experiment with new colors can be downright impossible.  I was also unhappy with a hair color that I had tried back in November. It wasn't exactly bad, but it was really dark for me with a lot of red and I was ready to give it up.  So, being the super-involved Daddy that he is, my hubby gathered both of the kids, their Kindles and drinks and they went off together so I could do some ‘Mamma Stuff’ (that’s what C calls all that girly stuff like hair, nails and makeup).  I met them for lunch (I love finally having a local Chick-fil-A!!) after my makeup appointment and then headed over to my favorite DIY beauty products store.   They spent the rest of the afternoon trolling around town while I spent it upstairs in our master bedroom/bathroom stripping color out of my hair and putting new color on…from chocolate cherry to golden honey in about 2 ½ hours. Not bad. 

…still no trip to the grocery store…

But with our Super Bowl (Not A Party) Event (see Super Bowl post) looming, we at least needed supplies for the wings, potato skins and sauces. So…back into the car again…stop at the grocery store to get what we need for that event.  And then out to supper again. For the love of eating out!

…still no trip to the grocery store…

Sunday morning we realize that we STILL haven’t made it to do our usual household shopping so we decided to make it a family trip (I secretly love family grocery trips…but they aren't always practical as far as schedules are concerned). Off we went, list and coupons in hand.  When we returned home, fully stocked with food and necessary supplies, it was time for naps (munchkins must either nap or observe 2 hours of quiet time in their rooms to be allowed to stay up a bit late for football fun).  While they napped, we did everything else necessary to get ready for our ‘Not a Party’ Event.

Wings were a new experiment for J and I. We wanted boneless, skinless wings (basically poppers tossed in sauce) so we cut boneless, skinless chicken tenderloins in thirds…after tossing them in some seasoned flour and quick-frying them (1-2 minutes in a deep fryer), we seasoned and fried them a second time. At this point, they were already yummy enough to snack on, but wings aren't wings without wing sauce/seasoning.  We’d already decided on one wet sauce and one dry toss.  The wet sauce was a Honey Chipotle sauce that would clear out your sinuses in a heartbeat…I pureed it in the food processor, then dumped it and the wings into a bowl and tossed it around.  SO. YUMMY.  The second was a batch of dry toss Taco wings. So when we fried them the second time around, we added some taco seasoning to the flour mixture…then tossed them in more taco seasoning (dry) as soon as they came out of the deep fryer. BEYOND. DELICOUS.  Our sauce bar was equally as awesome…sour cream, ranch dip, two guacamole choices (regular and spicy), an extra batch of the Honey Chipotle and some salsa.  With the Mexican-y foods that our friends brought, we had a pretty awesome tex-mex inspired Super Bowl. And I am pretty sure we all ate too much…then half-time came and we ate more. **groan**

By the time the game was over, everyone left and the dishes were done, the weekend was over. Seriously OVER. What happened to the, roughly, 84 hours between Coffee Group and falling into bed Sunday night?! **Most** of our single friends don’t get it. And I don’t blame them…I didn't get it until about 5 years ago…and I get it even more now than I did then. Sometimes the minutes and hours just slip away and the next thing you know it’s 3 or 4 days later and the project that you started on Wednesday is still folded next to your sewing machine. And the singles wonder why you didn't just finish it on Wednesday evening. Now I just smile and say ‘I just decided to do something more fun instead’. They will understand…when they are married and have their own kids.  But as a single, I hated it when people would say ‘you just don’t understand what it’s like until you’re living it’…don’t get me wrong, it is a TOTALLY true statement. But I don’t want to make them feel bad. And the truth is, snuggling with my Lil’ Man, coloring my hair in silence while I read a good book, watching a show/movie on the couch with my hubby or building Lego pet shops with my Lil’ Lady is far more fun than anything else. 

~Jac

This is NOT a Party...

Now let me rewind a bit…all the way to New Year’s Day.  J and I were discussing what has become our annual Super Bowl Party.  Funny how things seem to just evolve instead of being planned…each year we have ended up hosting a kid-friendly appetizers and desserts Super Bowl Party.  But, we decided that since we’d hosted 3 events in two weeks with at least 12 guests per event, we were burnt out a bit on entertaining and weren't going to host a Super Bowl Party this year.  We made sure to share this with our group of friends so that they could make other plans or even elect to host themselves.  Did I mention that we are kind of the ‘entertainers’ at this point? Fast forward to Friday at supper…we were discussing what we were going to do for the Super Bowl.  There were a couple of parties going on but none of them appeared to be kid-friendly and we have two football-loving, very well behaved little munchkins that we did not bring into this world to pawn off on babysitters.  So, J suggested that we contact just a couple of our closest friends and see if they had plans...

We did.

They didn't.

I said something to J about our decision to not have a party. “This isn't a party” he said. Uh huh.

So I told them that I was going to experiment with some wings…around 5:00pm. 

This is not a party.

That’s when the game is about to start?

This is not a party.

I will also be making potato skins and a ‘dips bar’ to go with the wings.

This is not a party.

Oh, you’re bringing a 7-layer dip and sopapilla cheesecake? Great!

This is not a party.

Oh, y’all are going to bring some French bread dip thing and cupcakes? Awesome.

This is not a party.

I clear off the buffet and set out plates, cups, napkins and utensils and then use the dining room table for all the food.

This is not a party.

A living room full of our favorite people while we eat, drink, watch the game and laugh at the commercials.

Sure was one of the best parties that we didn't have.

~Jac